Incest survivor provides prevention kits

By Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta
Correspondent

Aziza Kibibi is an author, activist, chef, creator, multimedia journalist, and mother.

She’s also an incest survivor.

Last August the East Orange resident launched “It’s OK to Tell” prevention kits in local daycare centers, preschools, and community centers. Each kit contains a magnet with the phone number of the Child Abuse hotline, crayons, and a coloring activity book to give young children the language and tools they need to understand personal safety in a gentle, age-appropriate way.

Kibibi said in her press release that empowering our youngest community members is one of the strongest ways to break cycles of abuse before they begin.
“Dialogue and language are age-appropriate without being too much for a child to understand,” she said. “The book’s address for parents to open up the dialogue.”

With a mission to educate women, girls, and their families on identifying and accessing resources, learning how to protect themselves, and ways to recover from abuse, Kibibi founded Precious Little Ladies in 2018.

Precious Little Ladies provides resources and information for those who have been impacted by abuse. They also service men and boys and are expanding their name, logo, and public identity to Precious Little Lads.

Kibibi’s very own survival journey prompted her to speak out against child abuse.

“My father molested me when I was 8, and raped me when I was 10,” she said. “He isolated me from my immediate family. When I got pregnant at 15, I was completely hidden. He created a toxic environment.”

She was impregnated by him five times.

Her father’s public persona was a visionary; appreciated by the community. He had become an MTV award-winning music video director. He also raped women. His name is Aswad Ayinde, and he is now serving 90 years in prison.

“They arrested him in 2006,” said Kibibi. “He’s been in prison ever since.”

Recognizing the signs of a predator is challenging, according to Kibibi.

“The media have presented an archetype of what a pedophile looks like,” she said. “When I speak to people, especially survivors, they are not only predators.

It could be a police officer that saves peoples’ lives.”

Kibibi warns that even before inappropriate touching, there are signs.

“Predators try to isolate the victim, creating an unspoken relationship they may not have with any other child. Encourage a child to keep a secret,” she said.

“Excessive tickling has been a sign that gets a child comfortable with having their body touched. That’s a tactic my father used with me and girls my age; two girls he tried to target as well. Thankfully both girls told; it didn’t go any further. Victims take on so much. They know that it’s going to destroy the family.”

But Kibibi encourages victims to speak out.

“So many people are being completely complacent, not doing anything, not saying anything,” she said.

In her own journey, Kibibi had to prove she was a minor while the incest was taking place—and that she was not consenting.

“It’s not easy to talk to someone about the things you’ve been through,” she said. “I do recommend survivors to write. To journal. You don’t have to be a good writer. Just getting the thoughts and feelings on paper. I did voice recording. Listening to it or reading it back, it’s extremely liberating. A traumatic experience like that seems so unreal. You tend to question—did it even happen? Putting it on paper makes it digestible.”

While putting thoughts down on paper contributes to the healing process, Kibibi also recommends finding someone you trust to talk to.

“A therapist would be an ideal person,” she said. “Tell them they don’t have to respond, just listen to you. You’re holding all this trauma inside. The first step is to get it out, whether it’s through writing or telling somebody.”

To learn more about Precious Little Ladies visit: https://pllnonprofit.com/

To learn more about Aziza Kibibi visit: https://www.azizakibibi.com/.

  east orange, Incest