Crazed comedian Vic DiBitetto’s rants draw rave reviews at NJPAC

ESSEX COUNTY, NJ — Comedian Vic DiBitetto is onstage and he is clearly upset about something. And fans who have packed the house at the first of his two recent New Jersey Performing Arts Center shows wouldn’t have it any other way. The Brooklyn-born former garbageman-turned Staten Island bus driver-turned-YouTube comedy sensation entered the cozy, nearly sold out Victoria Theater inside NJPAC, accompanied by the instantly recognizable “Theme From Rocky.” The self-proclaimed “Donkey of Comedy” and “Working Class Zero” makes little effort to hide his proud cultural heritage, with many dubbing him “The Italian Hurricane” because of his volatile yet scathingly hilarious public persona.

You can call DiBitetto many things. Loud. Opinionated. Unhinged. Raunchy. Exhilarating. Just don’t call the 56-year-old comedian an overnight success. DiBitetto’s long, strange trip to major public awareness dates back to 1981, during his earliest days as a stand-up performer at Pips Comedy Club in Brooklyn. A decade later, he and his son, Michael, won the $10,000 grand prize on ABC’s “America’s Funniest People” thanks to their wacky pseudo-ventriloquist act. A much-needed big time break eluded DiBitetto for the next twenty years until lightning struck in the form of a wildly popular 28-second YouTube video that he had posted called “Bread and Milk.” The 2013 clip consists of nothing more than the irritated bus driver poking fun at those who over-react to a simple snowstorm. But its brazen insight into our current panic culture struck a nerve with the masses, racking up almost 17 million views. Subsequent rants blasting coddled pop stars Justin Bieber and Kanye West went viral as well, and soon almost everyone was interested in what was bugging DiBitetto. Former “King of Queens” actor Kevin James became an instant fan, prompting him to feature the crazed comedian in his 2015 “Mall Cop: Blart 2” motion picture. Initially, DiBitetto was more stunned than anyone by the massive breakthrough of that brief, weather-related YouTube video. Confessing to the NJPAC audience, he acknowledged, “I wasn’t even going to post it. In fact, I almost deleted it. And yet those 30 seconds brought me more recognition than my 30 years of stand-up!”

The subject matter that DiBitetto focuses on is nothing revolutionary or groundbreaking. He’s certainly not trying to reinvent the comedy wheel. Standard peeves like the routine grind of daily living, the burden of annoying family members or the mind-numbing idiocy of modern day society are all tried-and-true easy targets of countless entertainers. But it’s not what DiBitetto says; it’s how he expresses what he says that sets him apart from the rest. The guy is a walking, talking live wire; a loosely bound bundle of raw nerve endings, limbs flailing, just waiting to explode. Whether it’s Vic stuck in an endless checkout line at Best Buy or Vic confronting an unruly child on an airplane or Vic arguing with his wife of 34 years, Lucy, over the questionable merits of shopping at her beloved Home Goods outlet or having an unnecessary yard sale, Vic is always very relatable and very real. And it’s that unbridled, unapologetic “realness” his growing legion of fans finds so darn appealing. What he’s saying is more than just humorous. It’s usually true. So when Vic blows his top, it’s a cathartic release for everyone else in the room who has ever experienced similar struggles in their own lives. In a very visceral sense, his rage is our rage.

Intentional or not, DiBitetto has a comedy pedigree that can be traced back to some of the all time genre greats. The smoldering volcanic intensity of Sam Kinison, the manic exasperation of Jerry Stiller, the self-deprecating delivery of Rodney Dangerfield and the razor sharp observations of George Carlin can all be detected in DiBitetto’s comedy DNA. Re-imagine an old episode of “The Honeymooners” wherein blustery Everyman Ralph Kramden finally snaps and starts eff-bombing everyone in sight. That’s DiBitetto on a good night. Unlike many comedians who pepper their act with profanity for mere shock value or hipness factor, DiBitetto’s natural born storytelling is actually enhanced and strengthened by his inclusion of endless expletives. Because this is a family-friendly publication, much of his act he performed at NJPAC cannot be reproduced here. And in all fairness to the comedian, it should not be since editing his jokes in any way would only rob them of their power. Here are a few printable yet very funny NJPAC excerpts of DiBitetto sounding off on a variety of topics:

• On his local roots:
“I’ve lived here in Manalapan, New Jersey, for about 13 years now. Originally born and raised in Brooklyn. Then moved overseas … to Staten Island. Which is basically Brooklyn with a cover charge. Where a four-way stop sign means “Screw you. I was here first.”
• On driving in the Garden State:
“Welcome to New Jersey. No left turns allowed. You people have these horrible jug handles over here. Did you ever go to the Borgata Hotel? Beautiful, right? It’s like Emerald City. You can see it, but you just can’t get to it. Your car looks like it’s going to hit the Borgata and then you wind up in Brigantine! What the hell just happened?”
• On his adorable Italian immigrant mother-in-law:
“How cute is my mother-in-law? Four feet tall. Still wearing the same black dress from Ellis Island. Mom, you’re here 85 years now … relax! Put the luggage down. We’re gonna eat now.”
• On his wife’s extensive shoe collection:
“It’s like I’m married to a centipede. There’s shoes everywhere! Folks, I own these that I’m wearing onstage here and the same pair of sneakers at home since 1978. We were on vacation walking through the old ruins of Italy and my wife says to me, ‘Slow down. I’m wearing sandals.’ And I’m like, ‘The Romans did it… why can’t you?’
• On his son coming out as gay:
“He told me and I started crying. Mikey goes, ‘Dad, why are you crying?’ I said, ‘The next time Mommy needs to go to Home Depot to pick out paint color samples, you gotta take her.’ Then he started crying and I ask him why he is crying. And Mikey says, ‘I can’t wait! When is she going?’ See? It all works out.”
• On his daughter’s bizarre creativity:
“My daughter is a pastry chef. Very talented. She recently made a bong out of an apple. Now how brilliant is that? I inhaled once and got the munchies. So I ate the apple.”
• On visiting The Sunshine State:
“I like Florida but it’s a weird place.  It’s an endless, flat swamp. You can actually see your dog running away for seven days.”
• On the paranoia of political correctness:
“So I’m at the local Wegman’s Market and I have to get cold cuts. A Chinese guy is behind the counter making the cold cuts. Great. How do I ask this guy for a half pound of yellow American without getting called a racist? This is what we’ve come to in this country!?”
• On his dysfunctional family dynamics:
“My son is an artist. Graduated F.I.T. in New York City. Went on a full scholarship. Don’t applaud just yet … That big snowstorm we just had? Instead of helping me shovel the snow, he painted a picture of me shoveling the snow. That’s nice, Mikey. Now why don’t you paint Daddy having a heart attack on the front lawn while you and your sister play video games and Mommy’s upstairs reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ Put that in your portfolio!”

With each successive meltdown that DiBitetto experiences, the NJPAC audience roars even louder in approval. Because what triggers Vic is more likely than not triggering the rest of us. The insanity of life always seems to go down easier when we can all find the ability to just sit back and laugh at it. DiBitetto realizes his newfound comedy ascendance is still a work in progress; an unexpected gem he is working hard on polishing and protecting. Beyond his hectic stand-up schedule, he has a variety of television, cable, social media and movie projects that will keep him very busy throughout the coming year. And that suits him just fine. As his side-splitting 85-minute set concluded, the entertainer assured the crowd he would return to Newark next year. Only next time, he vowed he would be playing the more cavernous and prestigious Prudential Hall, which also resides within the stellar confines of NJPAC. And there’s really no reason to doubt him. Because when Vic DiBitetto says something, it’s more than just funny…

It’s usually the truth.

David VanDeventer provides entertainment event coverage for Worrall Media and can be reached at [email protected].