Photo Courtesy of Izabela Van Tassel Vicky Valvano talks about her loss of a pet at the Van Tassel Funeral Home, where a memorial service for pets took place.
Vicky Valvano talks about her loss of a pet at the Van Tassel Funeral Home, where a memorial service for pets took place.
Van Tassel Funeral Home, on Belleville Avenue, held its eighth annual Pet Memorial Day on Sunday, Sept. 8.
The second Sunday in September is designated as National Pet Memorial Day, an observance established in 1972 by the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories.
The day has provided people with the opportunity to remember their departed pets in the company of individuals with similar heartfelt concerns.
The observation drew about 14 people to the Bloomfield funeral home, a good size crowd actually. These guests had the opportunity and comfort of talking about their pets, cats overwhelmingly being the pet mourned, and to display worn wallet photos and cell phone pictures of their beasts.
“Pets are a big part of our lives,” said Izabela Van Tassel, the proprietor. “Today is to recognize the importance of pets we have and have lost.”
Some people, she said, do not have families or children. When they lose a pet, their grief is strong.
“It’s really no different from grieving a person,’ she said. “Sometimes the grief is stronger.”
Generally speaking, she said a person’s approach to pets has changed over the years.
“Dogs used to be chained outside,” she said. “Cats slept in the barn. My grandmother’s dog slept with the cows in the barn in Poland. The cats slept with the cows in the barn, too.”
People socialize less now, she said. Neighbors don’t talk to neighbors, but they feel comfortable talking to their pets. She also believed there was a cultural shift in what we see in our pets.
“We used to see them as property,” she said. “Pets are no longer working for us on the farm or as guard dogs. We don’t need them for that.”
Josh, an attorney who was attending the observation, agreed with Van Tassel’s sentiments about the changing stature of pets.
“There is a component of social isolation,” he said. “But our view of animals has shifted, too.”
One woman, Ginny, said she thought pets have grown in stature because people have changed.
“They’re not as outgoing,” she said of people. “I think it happened more after the pandemic.”
Van Tassel pointed out that communities like to profess they have no-kill shelters.
“I adopted my kitty when she was 10 years old,” she said. “No one wanted to take her home.”
People began to arrive for the 1 p.m. ceremony and immediately began conversing. They talked about the pets they lost and even the pets relatives had lost. They seemed to all agree that people who care for their pets are good people.
“My husband didn’t like pets and now he’s gone,” one woman said to laughter.
Another woman said whenever she started to date a new man, she would ask if he liked pets.
A woman named Liz said she welcomed a gathering of people of like minds.
“I would grieve for my pets and people made fun of me,” she said.
She showed cell phone photos of her pets and stated the date they each died.
“I remember everything,” she said, “I wish I didn’t.”
It was time for the official observation and Patrick spoke. He said he lost family members but really did not care, not because, in his estimation, he was not compassionate, but because he was not close to his family. He went on and said he also had to euthanize three pet cats. “When I had to put Sniffers to sleep, I was beside
myself,” he said. “I cried so much that I made the vet cry.”
Patrick said he was retelling his grief to let people understand that after they lose a beloved pet, they will find the need in their heart to find another pet.
One speaker spoke about his deceased corgi, Hazel. He established a Corgi meet-up group for himself and his dog.
“She brought a lot of people into my life,” he said. “Because of her, I went to weddings and did volunteer work. Pets mean a great deal to us. Some people get it, some people don’t.”
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