Maplewood Committee Member Dean Dafis speaks at Coming Out Day.
Coming Out Day was a day of food, music, fun, and celebration.
But it was also a day of awareness and a call to action. Committee Person Dean Dafis, Maplewood’s first openly LGBT representative on the township committee hosted the event.
“Today’s event is a joyous celebration of our resilience, our courage, and a call to action to continue standing up, fighting back, and building a more inclusive community,” Dafis said. “Our solidarity is our power. Every day is coming out day. We celebrate our truth.”
Nearly 100 people of all ages showed up. Music was provided by DJ Jenn Jones, who played pride anthems such as “Born to Be Alive,” “Born This Way,” and “MacArthur Park.” Glazed and Confused provided donuts. SOMA Pop Party provided face painting.
Actor Zach Grenier was one of the attendees.
“I think it’s (Coming Out Day) great,” Grenier said. “We’ve been doing this for a few years.”
When Dafis took the podium he said, “I’m going to be loud and proud. I love this celebration! We’re creating a safe place to be together. We’re celebrating our resilience through the years. This is courageous. It is really important for us to come together. This is how we fight back.”
Continuing, he talked about being 13-years-old in 1983 and sent to conversion therapy after he came out to his family.
“Conversion therapy has been trying to make a comeback,” he said. “I can attest to you it was very harmful to me.” He explained that conversion therapy included electroshock therapy.
“I’m a lucky one,” Dafis said. “So many people who went through conversion therapy, they didn’t make it. They took their lives. I found my power in community. Rainbow crosswalks, events such as this ensure everything we do is LGBTQ inclusive. Every opportunity I’m in Trenton and D.C. I’m fighting for us. If you’re struggling right now, it’s okay. We’re all struggling right now. There is hope. This is our hope. Coming together is our hope. Now is the time to be courageous. If you’re an ally and aware of a bully, speak up, stand up. That is our responsibility. Let us be the light in the dark right now. Everyone belongs in this community. We see you. We hear you. You’re welcome to reach out to me. Together we’re gonna make sure we’ll truly be equal under this nation.”
Shannon Cuttle, the first transgender elected representative on the South Orange Maplewood Board of Education, the first openly LGBTQ+ South Orange Maplewood School District Board of Education member, and the the first openly Trans non-binary elected official in the state of New Jersey, reminded the audience to remember those “who came before us” like Marsha P. Johnson, a Black transgender activist, but she also talked about the future.
“The biggest hope I ever had is our youth,” Cuttle said. “We’re learning from them. It’s the tide, young people are gonna make the change, inviting people to live their authentic self and truth.”
Cuttle said that when they came out as a queer person at age 19 they did not have any role models.
“Visibility matters,” Cuttle said. “It can change lives. Find support. Find community.”
Reggie Bledsoe, Essex County School Boards Association president, spoke and also stressed the importance of community.
“Maplewood is one of the most inclusive communities in the state of New Jersey,” Bledsoe said. “A lot of communities are watching what we’re doing. I feel privileged to be in this space and advocate for LGBTQ. We are just human beings and deserve the right to live as we are. There are some dark days ahead.
This guy (President Trump) is trying to turn this into a totalitarian government. But we have rights and we’re not going anywhere. Those who are queer out there, keep showing up. You have support at the county level. Let’s continue to show up for each other. It’s all about love. It’s all about family.”
J.P. Pedoto, who works as program coordinator and clinician for Family Connections’ Pride+ program, said it’s important to be resilient.
“During the AIDS crisis, in the morning we’d bury our friends, in the day we’d fight for our rights, and at night, we dance. I invite you to mourn, to build community, to fight. There’s still a fight with our government election. I invite you all to dance and find the joy.”
Near the end of the program, Dafis invited children to speak.
Ella, age 7 and a second-grade student, said she is in support of bathrooms to be shared by boys and girls—in support of children who identify with a gender different from their sex assigned at birth.
Dafis concluded the event, encouraging attendees to exercise their rights to vote.
“We’ve had ICE raids in town, had fathers taken away from places of employment—abducted and disappeared,” Dafis said. “Broken families. This is happening in our communities.”
Deputy Mayor Malia Herman said the event was important and she was proud of her town.
“It’s great Maplewood hosts events like this standing in support of LGBTQ communities,” Herman said. “For kids to see this, we’re supporting them. I’m proud of Maplewood for having this.”
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